April showers

I, I am not alive anymore

I hit rock bottom somewhere along the east coast

across the ocean and swam back on my hands and knees

I’ll make it to the moon if I have to crawl

And you, you have been screening my calls

I know because I heard “shit” right before

I got sent to voicemail

Wasn’t it just last week you said 

you’d love me forever

I swear I’m not usually this pathetic

I’m usually pretty adept at not feeling a thing

even when I know the doctor’s lying 

but you can only bite your tongue for so many shots

before the damn thing starts bleeding

And we, we bought this bottle of wine together

when I moved into this new apartment

to celebrate and

I am learning that drinking while you’re feeling and bleeding

is a lot like drowning

there’s not enough damn oxygen

and not 

a shore 

in sight